Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Randomize
