Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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