(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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