why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
