Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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