u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
