Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
