I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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