4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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