very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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