Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
