Porn is love you can see.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
