omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
