Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
