So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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