I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
