bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
