You work out of a Hotel?
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
