I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
