I think i peed on brittanys purse
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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