some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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