What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
