I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
