She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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