Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
they're like a gay fantastic four
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
