I molested 6 butterflies tonight
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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