this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
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