Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
