Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
