I'm drive I can fine osifer
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize