You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
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