god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
