My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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