Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
