I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
