So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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