I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
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