The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
