What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
