how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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