I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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