it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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