I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
