Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
