What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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