I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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