I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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