I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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