I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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