you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
