Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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