At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
