I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize