Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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