dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
