no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
