go do what you do best...puke behind churches
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Randomize