So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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