I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
