Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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